People always ask me, “why practice meditation?” Which is usually followed up by, “I hate sitting still in silence, it drives me crazy/makes me bored/tired, etc.” I get it though because I use to think the same thing until I started practicing myself. At first, it was silly, then frustrating, then boring. I wondered if I was doing it right a thousand times and got distracted easily. I’ll tell you, it hasn’t been a straight path but the journey has been worth every minute.
The problem I had with meditation when I first started a couple years ago was that my mind wouldn’t stfu. Not to mention, when you first start sitting in silence, your mind likes to mess with you and bring up all the painful thoughts you don’t want to think about, ranging from the bills I owed to my childhood daddy issues and PTSD.
In the beginning, I’d attach to these thoughts and unravel a whole can of bullshit and strap myself in first row on an emotional rollercoaster, not understanding the purpose of meditation. I’d give up on it but somehow always found my way back to it, whether it was being mindful in the shower or being present on a long drive. Meditation was frustrating in the beginning because I wanted to be in control (which I feel is natural for being human). I didn’t realize that meditation is not trying to control the mind and it’s thoughts. It is not the absence of thoughts, either. Practicing meditation is learning to be the observer of one’s thoughts. Allowing whatever thought that is presented to just be. Not attaching to it or unraveling it, not obsessing or worrying over it, not trying to change it or react to it but, instead, allowing these thoughts to become background music that you find ease in listening to and letting go of.
The mind will always have thoughts. We are constantly experiencing moments and our mind needs time to process things. The reel will always be going, but it’s what we attach to that becomes engraved, that becomes important or the center of our focus in life. Meditation has allowed me to filter my focus and create space for what is important. Do I really need to think about what’s happening next week? Or that phone call I had yesterday? Do I need to plan out an event a thousand times before it happens? Or obsess over what I can do better in my life?
I’m realizing that because my inner thoughts have been so loud in the past, and I’ve attached to unnecessary inner thoughts, that my external life has become the background music in my life. In a way, I became unconscious to the world around me. By practicing the art of making my inner thoughts background music, instead of allowing them to take front row seats and climb on stage and take over the show constantly, I can be more conscious to those around me and the life I experience before my eyes.
Meditation is the true expansion of consciousness through becoming the observer while releasing the controller (or the ego). Emphasis on “while releasing the controller.” Meditation is like a sport, you can not play unless you practice. One thing I’d go back and do differently in my practice (no regrets) is I’d be more gentle with myself sooner and accept that there was an identity I needed to shed before becoming the observer. I think I would have been less critical of myself that way. But I am grateful for my path with meditation; sometimes, there are thoughts that you realize you want to grab onto and run with, and I think that’s okay. I think that’s part of ones journey and healing if they don’t allow suffering to creep in.
So when people ask me, “what’s the point of meditating and why should I do it?”
I say, “Meditation will drag you through the mud but it will also bloom you into a beautiful fucking lotus and guide you to experience life’s moments in the most joyful, loving and soulful way.” ✨
🧠 The Cope Dealer
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